Do you who are part of the Asperger's club think everything you do indicates Asperger's? Look a little closer. Anytime you start to feel nervous or uncomfortable around everyday situations may instead be anxiety rearing its ugly head. Anxiety and Asperger's can go hand in hand especially when you are struggling. It's hard to know where one starts and the other stops. This fear, often irrational, hurts your ability to make simple everyday choices. It has for me many times.
My internal clock feels like it has always been miscalibrated. I never really know how much time a task will take. Such as putting together words for this essay, studying, updating my website, or putting my own computer together (first build all on my own) along with learning how to install Linux on that very same brand new computer. People take computer expertise for granted with me. I can learn what I have to know; but it takes a while. If I don't immediately see the answer, it won't be intuitive with me. I keep fearing it will take up my entire day when I have other things I must do.
The major indicators according to the NIMH are six months of extreme excessive, irrational fear and dread. In school terms, that is about a semester and a half. Consider how this anxiety multiplies as you grow up and face an increasing amount of pressure that grows as much as the consequences to which authority figures seem to attach all kinds of consequences for failure. I'll repeat as often as I have to that my two expectations for school are learn more often than not, and make at least a few friends. When neither is happening, you will see the consequences sooner rather than later.
Decisiveness can be is hard. I used to wonder if I could handle more than one or two tasks at a time each week. I used to repeat myself and get stuck on the same things over and over again. But two funny things happened. First, as I waited to finish up school, Borders Bookstores coincidentally went out of business. I got about 8 or 9 books that seemed interesting about several different topics along with the first few seasons of The Office, all marked down by 75-80%. Starting in the morning, one chapter would take me an hour to finish. I then picked up another book and read at the same rate. After one week, I had finished 6 books. My conversation skills went through the roof as I found when my sister brought my now brother-in-law home for the first time. I couldn't believe how well this worked. Those of you reading this who are either strapped for cash or not fans of reading online should make good use of your library card. I still have the same one I've had since I was 7.
I refuse to believe I'm the only one who could have been so riddled with anxiety that it stopped me from forming and executing any type of ambitious plan. I'm always interested in hearing from others in the same boat, and how they plan to find a way to face down their demons.