Question:My son has Asperger’s. It seems apparent when his Asperger’s narrow interests are buildings and escalators. Every day, he wants to tell me all about what he’s learned. Is there a way I can politely ask him that he can only tell me two more things about buildings and escalators? He feels disappointed but there’s just not enough time in the day for me to listen to everything he’s learned.
Relax. You'll be okay some day. Source: Wix free images
Answer:First off, congratulations on raising such a self-starter. Compliment him for his initiative before he realizes it’s time to do something else, such as get everyone ready for dinner, or bedtime, or going to someone’s house. As a caring mom, you’re wishing to validate his feelings, drive, and interest despite your obvious time constraints. What you are really asking is how to be upfront while avoiding walking on eggshells around your son. It’s a hard but necessary lesson to learn. As my dad said a few times, “You revolve around the world; it doesn’t revolve around you.” In a calm demeanor discuss how busy or slow the time period is when the child is engaging. If it is bad timing, engage the child as a problem-solver instead of discussion. Teach him to be observant of time and activities. Households have routines and schedules that require teaching to be sensitive to them. This takes some time to consistently master.
It appears that you, like many other concerned and caring parents, are concerned about lowering your kid’s self-esteem and confidence. This concern is completely understandable. But consider your son’s interests in building structures. Massive skyscrapers did not just come out of the earth as raw materials. Its steel beams and metal rods have to go through heavy processing in order to be reinforced with enough strength to stand at high altitudes on top of a concrete slab. These same steel beams are bound together by glass that also came from the earth as well as insulation materials. They have metal rods running through and underneath them at every floor for ventilation and plumbing, which are also produced under high stresses and temperatures in short periods of time. Like each structure and piece of machinery, they must first be bent and molded before they can be strengthened. What I’m trying to say is that facing a stressful moment can make you both stronger. There will be more than sufficient appropriate times to share his knowledge.